We all know that friend who’s late to every event. Or the person who never replies to group chats and just leaves everyone on read (guilty). These are stereotypes for a reason!
Well tramping is no stranger to cliches as well. Anyone who’s ever tramped with a group of friends will know that there are certain types of trampers in every group. The person who’s always stopping to look at the view (and not-so-secretly catching their breath), the person who never knows where they are and would never make it back to the carpark on their own, the person who always brings the BEST snacks.
You might recognise some of your friends in the below list of tramper stereotypes, but a more important question is: which type of tramper are you??
Scroll on down for the very official list of the nine different types of trampers.
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The Nine Different Types of Trampers:
1. You’re the …
“Are We There Yet” Tramper
For this tramper it’s definitely all about the destination, not the journey. They might love spending time in backcountry huts, the views from the tops of mountains, or the relief of soaking sore muscles in natural hot pools, but they certainly don’t like the hours spent trudging through the wilderness to reach these places.
Signs that you’re travelling with an “Are We There Yet” Tramper are the obvious question being repeated over and over again, or conversely a quiet friend who only perks up when you reach your destination. Word of warning: never tell an “Are We There Yet” Tramper that they are “almost there”, when they are in fact more than 10 minutes’ walk away.
The “Are We There Yet” tramper pairs well with the Food Motivated Tramper, the Photographer or the One Who’s Always Injured as this ensures regular breaks will be taken, but they do not mix well with the King’s Scout Tramper.
You might like this trip:
A short, relatively flat walk will take you to this picturesque lake, with a brand new hut!
2. You’re the …
Food Motivated Tramper
If your priority when packing your gear is about the food you’re taking, and you get excited about all the snacks you’re “allowed” when tramping, then you’re probably a Food Motivated Tramper. Ways to spot a Food Motivated Tramper are: hip pockets filled with snacks, meals that leave everyone else’s mouthes watering, and non-stop chat about what meal they’re going to have once they return to civilisation (starting in the car on the way to the trailhead).
Food Motivated Trampers make great tramping companions and can go on some epic trips, so long as there is food readily available at all times. Word of warning: Food Motivated Trampers can easily become “hangry”. Always have emergency food at the ready if you travel with one, or suffer the consequences. Food Motivated Trampers pair well with The Inspector Gadget Tramper, whose fancy cooker will make sure their food is served as quickly as possible once the hut is reached.
You might like this trip:
Flying in to the remote Mason Bay on Rakiura / Stewart Island means weight is less of a concern and you can pack whatever food you want (for the first night at least). We packed pre-cooked spaghetti bolognaise with fresh veggies, and had pancakes for breakfast!
3. You’re the …
Mountain Goat
If you’re this type of tramper, you’ll know it – people can’t resist saying how “you’re such a Mountain Goat“, as they sit watching you scramble over rocks. Often they’ll sound exhausted, which is hard to understand since the tracks ‘aren’t even that difficult’. Mountain Goats seem to have a higher base level of fitness than most, and can just keep putting one foot in front of the other for as long as necessary. They have a good sense of balance, and enjoy climbing – the more challenging trip, the better!
Photographers love Mountain Goats, since they don’t mind running all over the landscape while the photographer searches for the best framed shots. Mountain Goats also work well with Food Motivated Trampers, since for some reason Mountain Goats are always hungry and needing to refuel.
You might like these trips:
This is a steep climb up to a simply stunning viewpoint over Fox Glacier / Te Moeka o Tuawe. The perfect spot to camp and catch a beautiful west coast sunset.
4. You’re the …
Inspector Gadget Tramper
This tramper has all of the gear and all of the ideas. When the Inspector Gadget Tramper isn’t tramping, they’re researching the crap out of what gear they’re going to buy next. This type of tramper starts out in op shops with a small budget, but it soon develops into a major addiction that consumes a lot of their non-tramping time. Next thing you know, they’re eagerly awaiting their fourth online purchase for the month (because “everyone knows the best gear comes from Europe”), and greeting the courier by name.
The Inspector Gadget Tramper is a fantastic tramping companion, so long as they’re willing to share their gear and expertise. But do not ask how much they’ve spent on tramping gear (you honestly don’t want to know) or how they fund this ‘hobby’. And if you value your life, NEVER break any of their gear.
You might like these trips:
Want to use your expensive GPS (and skills) to route-find your way up waterfall faces and camp out in the mountains using all your fancy gear? This trip is perfect for you (so long as you don’t mind some steep scrambling).
The beautiful new Mintaro Hut has charging ports, so if you’re the kind of Inspector Gadget Tramper who has a lot of electronics, this is the perfect trip for you. You’ll probably also be all over winning the race that is the DOC booking system, but just in case, I’d recommend reading this blog post for all the hacks.
5. You’re the …
Photographer
The Photographer has a great eye for framing, lighting and subjects. Their Instagram or Facebook is often filled with beautiful shots of wilderness. This type of tramper actually has two sub-groupings; the social media influencer (who has mastered the art of the tripod) and the landscape/wildlife photographer (who knows the names of all the native birds they see). Although clothing style differs widely between the two groups, they both take frequent pauses for photos throughout the day and often choose tramps based on their aesthetic.
The Photographer is surprisingly strong from carting all their heavy gear around, and is the perfect companion if you want to have your trip well documented visually. Word of warning: do not attempt to attract a Photographer’s attention during golden hour, or get in their way if an adorable wild animal has wandered into view.
The Photographer pairs well with the Food Motivated Tramper (who takes advantage of all the stops for snacks), and the Inspector Gadget Tramper who will likely love to debate the pros and cons of different lens and models.
You might like these trips:
These tarns were on the cover of the New Zealand Lonely Planet guide, so while they’re not exactly a well-kept secret, they ARE the perfect spot for sunset / sunrise shots of the beautiful Taranaki maunga.
This red alpine hut has the most amazing views of New Zealand’s tallest peak. Watching sunset from its deck and snapping photos is iconic.
6. You’re the …
One Who’s Always Lost
There are people who are directionally challenged, and then there are the people who can’t find the track when they’re literally standing on the track. The One Who’s Always Lost is often the latter, mostly because they’re too busy staring at the view or chatting with their fellow trampers.
This type of tramper is best to befriend a King’s Scout Tramper who will keep them on the right track (literally). The One Who’s Always Lost should tramp in a group and never go solo in order to minimise their chances of needing a date with LandSAR.
Word of warning: while The One Who’s Always Lost is normally fine with friends, disaster is almost always inevitable if the entire group is made up of this type of tramper, or if it consists solely of The One Who’s Always Lost and The Yarn Spinner.
You might like these trips:
As insanely beautiful as these views are, it’s a very simple trudge to the top. It should be impossible to get lost climbing up a very obvious 4WD farm track, but even if you do, the hordes of people will point you in the right direction.
This is an alternative to the very popular Roys Peak, with views over both Lake Wānaka and Hāwea. Isthmus Peak is also a very easy-to-follow track for most of the climb.
7. You’re the …
King’s Scout Tramper
This is the teacher’s pet of tramping (and I mean that in the nicest way possible). The King’s Scout Tramper is very experienced and can often be found in positions of leadership, organising challenging trips or mentoring less experienced friends. They have a good set of skills and are comfortable in rough terrain or off-track. They generally prefer the freedom of tenting to staying in huts.
The King’s Scout Tramper has often grown up tramping, or joined a tramping club at university. They work well with The Mountain Goat who’s up for any and all trips that The King’s Scout Tramper can come up with. But for their own sanity, they should never be paired with an “Are We There Yet” Tramper. And for the love of god, don’t let them within a kilometre of someone playing loud music from a Bluetooth speaker, or anyone who thinks the Leave No Trace Principles are what witness relocation officers use.
You might like these trips:
This four-day, off-track adventure needs someone experienced in navigation and route-finding. But the scrambling and sidling make seeing this beautiful alpine lake with your own eyes even sweeter.
Getting to the top of Ruapehu’s bubbling crater lake involves scrambling and route-finding in summer, and alpine snow skills in winter. It’s a pretty unique experience watching steam coming off the caldera!
8. You’re the …
One Who’s Always Injured
This category is a bit unfair as unlike the other categories, this tramper doesn’t really choose to be this way. It just sort of always … happens. You would think the One Who’s Always Injured often has to pull out of trips due to injury, but what actually happens is that they have either a high pain tolerance, or a complete disregard for any lasting damage they’re doing, so they just come on the trips anyway.
The One Who’s Always Injured comes in two sub-groups; very athletic (who often injures their joints playing various sports outside of tramping) or accident-prone (who doesn’t have to play a sport to injure themselves and can twist their ankle getting out of bed). The Food Motivated Tramper is a great friend, ensuring regular breaks are taken, as is The King’s Scout Tramper who will know how to treat any common injuries that arise.
You might like this trip:
9. You’re the …
Yarn Spinner
The Yarn Spinner is another experienced tramper who always has the perfect story to entertain their fellow trampers and hut-mates. They seem to know everyone they come across (or maybe they’re just that friendly to everyone). They love stopping to chat and compare intentions, the weather, track conditions, etc. (well that might be how the conversation starts anyway, but 20 minutes later and they’re talking about the price of kea beaks).
Yarn Spinners are fantastic company at huts or around the campfire, managing to keep everyone entertained and laughing. They’re a particularly perfect companion to the “Are We There Yet” Tramper, distracting them during the walk so that the kilometres seem to fly by. They should NOT be paired with The One Who’s Always Lost, as this normally results in both trampers becoming distracted and disorientated.
You might like these trips:
Moutaineers and climbers have the best stories, and if you’re lucky you’ll encounter some at this alpine hut in the shadow of Tititea / Mt Aspiring.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek summary of various stereotypes you might find in tramping groups around the country. It’s all in good fun and not meant to be taken seriously. I hope that you were able to see yourself or your friends in one (or more) of these types of trampers. Which one are you? Don’t forget to take the quiz and let me know whether it was accurate for you!
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